judgementor | [Aefenglom IC Inbox]

I was.

[And he smiles faintly again, straightening his posture.] Not all the time, but overall, I would say I was happy.

[The kettle begins to whistle loudly and it appears to suddenly occur to Red Wine that it's the middle of the night. He kisses a curse under his breath and darts across the kitchen, pulling the kettle from the hob.

Then, he chuckles to himself.]

... I'm sure it's fine. [Ehem.] I don't think 'mostly happy' for over two hundred years is a poor average.

[They both made a calculated choice and maybe it wasn't the best choice.]

...Should get a silencing spell for the kettle.

[They huff out a laugh.]

...And... I'd say that's a good average, yeah. Mostly happy is anyone can hope for, especially for so long...

[Definitely wasn't a human before coming here, that's for sure.]

I don't want to pry, but... Would you say you're happy, now?

[His movement stills at that question. Fingers resting on the tea box, eyes half downcast, no readable expression on his face. One corner of his mouth twitches up, but there's no lightness to it.

When he starts moving again it's as if every desire is punctuated with a what full stop.]

No.

[People have asked him if he's alright. That has felt like an invitation, and one he has only half answered despite the sincerity behind the question. But no one has asked him if he's happy.

He pours hot water into the teapot.]

No, Bailey. I'm not happy right now.

[They weren't expecting an honest answer - they feel like a lot of people, when asked a question like that, would lie. It's instinct, they think, a defense mechanism to keep people from getting too close to the heart of things.

They look down at their hands, curled in their lap, and think about what to say.]

I... Know I can't fix things, but... Is there anything I can do to at least make you happier?

[Gods, he's lied so much today. He's lied a lot. Red Wine prefers to only lie to protect others, not himself, and doing both has been an exhausting process.

As he brings the cups and teapot back to the table he finds he's surprised by the follow up question. Kind, considering they don't know one another too well.]

I would say that you're doing it.

[His smile has a faint warmth to it.]

The person I've lost-- we've been standing together for my entire existence. It's going to be a strange adjustment.

[They keep being surprised by Red Wine, so maybe they should just stop trying to predict what he's going to say. Their cheeks go a little rosy, and they nod.]

I can't imagine losing someone you've had for that long...

[And they really can't - they can't even imagine living for as long as Red Wine has.]

But... I know we've just met, but... If you need help, or if you want company, or... Or anything else, just. I'm here? I can't replace him and I wouldn't want to, but. Y'know. The offer's there.

[He huffs out a little sigh and pours the tea, giving Bailey theirs first.]

Everyone has been quite careful about it. It's been interesting. [Red Wine is accustomed to loss. This one hits differently to the others but at least... Steak's not dead. He's not dead, he just isn't here. Red Wine is not incapable of functioning alone.

It's just... strange to know he can't find him whenever he wishes to.

He looks over to the faun, faintly curious.]

I don't think you'd want to replace him. I spend most of my time insulting him.

Probably because nobody wants to upset you, even though it's like... You know he's not here, and it's not like you can deny the truth of the situation.

[They curl their hands around their teacup, feeling the warmth for a moment. They go to take a sip, before pausing and blinking at Red Wine.]

...I thought you were lovers.

[A beat. Their cheeks going rosier.]

W-Which! I mean. You're very handsome, so it's not like I'd say no to that, but you know, obviously you wouldn't be interested, because, well, haaaa.

[aaaaa]

...I'm going to shut up now.

[They take a sip of their tea, mortification settling in.]

[Oh.

Well.

Red Wine at least does Bailey the courtesy of turning slightly pink.]

That-- [Hm.] We were--... complicated.

[Are complicated. It had always been like that between them. He had never considered that kind of relationship with Steak on Tierra, but here... maybe it had been the bond, and the stress of being here, the constant fear and being the only truly familiar thing to one another. Red Wine never really got the chance to work out if the things he was feeling were real.

He clears his throat and sips his tea.]

Though I don't see what's obvious about it. You don't need to be embarrassed.

Complicated.

[Just. Gonna take another sip of tea. It's a bit too hot, but Bailey is ignoring that.]

I- Yeah. I can see that.

[They say, like they know either of them that well.]

I- Well! I mean. I'm not really like him, you know? I'm not... Strong. Or anything. So you wouldn't be interested in me the way I'm interested in you so, you know. I'm not embarrassed.

[Which... Is probably not all that convincing, and they're freshly mortified at admitting something so bold. It's something about being a faun, they think, because they never used to... Think of people like that, much.]

[His expression flickers.]

Bold.

[He murmurs against the edge of his cup.

And oh, he's fielded these kinds of declarations before. Usually from blushing young maids he had to gently let down, because a relationship with a Food Soul wasn't something a human should get into out of something so simple as infatuation.

He never let it get anywhere.]

Strength is not something I deem as worthy of being attracted to. Anyone can be strong. It says nothing about them as a person.

[They wish something would strike them down, stop their mouth from saying everything they're thinking.]

Well, you're very handsome, so can you blame me?

[Please... Have mercy...]

Well... That's... Fair, I suppose.

[Their tail thumps nervously against the back of their chair, as they stare very intently at their teacup.]

...I'm still not going to assume you definitely wanted to, but if you did want to, we could... Do that.

[The vampire rests his chin on the heel of his hand, the other hand curled loosely around the cup. He appraised Bailey quietly, and he--

He doesn't say 'no'.]

We shouldn't waste the tea. [He says softly, but there's still that faint smile. It still isn't 'no'.]

You should tell me a little more about yourself.

[Their tail stills, as it sinks in that... That wasn't a 'no'.

It wasn't a 'no', and they have no idea what to do with that.]

...Yeah. It's good tea.

[Not that they've really been able to taste it much.

They cock their head, finally looking up at Red Wine again. There's still a heavy blush on their face, but they manage to push down their embarrassment.]

...Well, you already know my name is Bailey. [A quirk of their lips.] I'm twenty-three, have a degree in psychology, and back home I could talk to ghosts. Can't do that here, though.

You're a medium?

[He didn't expect that, but he's learned in the last several months to not take anything for granted. Someone who could speak to ghosts... that's curious.]

Do you miss it? [Red Wine imagines that such a thing gets noisy. And... intrusive.]

I am. Was.

[They press their lips together, swirling the tea in their cup and considering.]

...I do. It's been such a large part of my life for so long, that being without it is strange.

... I know that feeling.

[He sips his tea again. It's still a little too hot, but he doesn't flinch as he swallows a mouthful and it burns on the way down.]

You've likely surmised that I wasn't human before. I wasn't a vampire, either. What I was... was something that defined me. [Red Wine smiles, a gentle tip to one corner of his mouth.] Being without it is very strange.

Yeah, that was pretty obvious.

[Their lips quirk, and they let out a soft laugh.]

This place seems to be built on changing our perspectives.

[There's a pause, as they hum.]

It's not the strangest thing to be without, though. [...] I... Saw and felt other things, too. Like other people's emotions.

[The confession is quiet - they can count the number of people who they've told that too on one hand, and it hasn't been anyone in Aefenglom. Not even Sylvia knows.]

I don't think many would wish to hear my opinions on what this place is built on.

[He doesn't have many positive opinions about this world, or the Coven, or how they conduct themselves towards the Mirrorbound. As he sees it, it's false smiles and handouts, and pulling them to the front line whenever danger rears its head.

It's interactions like this one that make being here at all worth it.]

An empath, too. [There's no judgement in his voice.] You must be a very special person, indeed.

I would.

[It's almost like they care about your thoughts and feelings, Red Wine!! It's almost like that's the entirety of their self-identity!!

They hum softly, looking a little... Sad.]

I suppose. I definitely stood out, that's for sure.

[Red Wine smiles again then, faint but certainly there, and he looks down at his tea. His mind should be racing, really, and for a myriad of reasons at the moment... but he feels strangely placid.

He stands up and offers Bailey a hand.]

Come with me.

[They blink a bit, surprised, and slowly lower their teacup.

...This might not be the best idea, but. Seize the moment.]

Okay.

[And they'll take his hand, standing from their chair.]

[Probably not one of his better ideas, really. He's still hurting, still very much in denial about how much it hurts, but...

This is something, and freely offered, and he doesn't want to turn it down. He turns a small smile up at them when they stand and with his cool hand loosely clasped around Bailey's he leads them up through the house to one of the rooms upstairs, quietly closing the door behind them.

Seize the moment, indeed.

He looks up at Bailey, scanning their face for a moment, then slips his fingers around the back of their neck and draws them down for a kiss.]

[They follow him without question, slowly trying to memorize the layout of the house as they're led through.

The kiss doesn't come as a surprise, but Bailey still finds theirself freezing as they get pulled down. The blush returns to their cheeks, they have no idea where to put their hands, and they realize very quickly that there's no way they can get out of this without Red Wine knowing.

They pull back after a moment, blinking, and they look to the side, embarrassed and shy.]

Um. I know I talked a lot, but... Ah. Well.

[They bite their bottom lip.]

I've never actually done this before?

[He doesn't quite manage to conceal his surprise. The fumbling through flirting had been one thing - plenty of people didn't really know how to flirt, and Red Wine knows he's an attractive person - but that they would let it get this far without actually having done anything like this before--

Gods, is it a faun thing?

Red Wine glances offside for a moment, letting out a small 'hm' of thought. He takes both of Bailey's hands in his and brings them to his lips, planting a kiss to one of the knuckles.]

If it's something you want, it only needs go as far as you want it to. I'm no cad.

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