[Jikan IC Inbox][un: redwine]

[judgementor]

"Leave a message. If it's important, I'll get back to you."

*beep*

Comments

[battlebound]

What?

( what kind of 2 + 2 = purple reply is THAT? )

What does that have to do with anything?!

[judgementor]

About as much as your asking me if I like being tied up has to do with anything.

Do you think we're going to be in a convenient position to make that happen the next time something strange occurs? Or were you just planning to bind my wrists together with the sleeve of your jacket the next time you get the overwhelming urge to rail me into a futon?

[battlebound]

( talking to Red Wine is a mistake. it is always a mistake. )

Excuse me for being curious! Not everything has a practical application!

( yeah, Steak, you're not fooling anyone let alone the guy who's known you longest with this "pure curiosity" bullshit. )

[judgementor]

The only reason I can see for you wanting to know if I like that is if you were planning on doing it.

[battlebound]

That shows how lacking in imagination you are. There are plenty of other reasons.

[judgementor]

How disappointing.

[battlebound]

( ... huh???

wait. what? )

What's that supposed to mean?!

[judgementor]

I thought for a moment you might have actually had an exciting idea.

[battlebound]

( ...............

Steak.exe has stopped responding. give him a minute to reboot. )

If you wanted to do it, why didn't you just say so?

[judgementor]

So it is something that you want to do, then?

[battlebound]

Well, yes.
It sounds interesting.

[judgementor]

'Interesting'?

What a clinical way to put it.

[battlebound]

What would you call it, then?!

[judgementor]

Exciting.

[battlebound]

( well, okay. he can't deny that. the fanfic certainly painted a picture there, otherwise he would never have asked. )

And what else?

[judgementor]

Why don't you try it and find out?

[battlebound]

You're going to have to come home for that.

( actually, Steak, first you should probably get some restraints. )

[judgementor]

Is that an order?

[battlebound]

It is.

( as the leader of the Knights of the Holy Sword, it's his right. )

[judgementor]

Fine, then.

[battlebound]

( it is about the second he sends that last text that Steak realises he really will be tying Red Wine up with whatever clothes are passable, that he'll be tying Red Wine up.

and he decides to do the only sensible thing any person would in this scenario: run out to the nearest sex shop to buy proper restraints.

so, when Red Wine is getting back, he'll probably run into Steak, doing the same thing plus one non-descript bag. )

[judgementor]

[He takes his time getting back, though it's difficult to do so. Can't be seen to be too eager about this, of course.

When he gets back to their place of residence, he takes a steadying breath outside the door before calmly pushing it open and strolling in as if the conversation between them had never occurred at all.

Really, he just wants to see what Steak will do.]

[battlebound]

( he's actually grateful for Red Wine's dilly-dallying for once. it means he has time not only to get back, but to actually read up on what he'll be doing. thank goodness these things came with safety instructions.

it's when Steak hears the door crack open that he hurries to toss said instruction leaflet in his bedside table, tugging nervously at his hair and exhaling.

this is fine. he's perfectly capable of such things and he can prove that to Red Wine. and so, when the door creaks shut, Steak steps out of his bedroom, dressed in his usual armour, sans coat, and clears his throat. )

Took you long enough.

( how exactly, do greetings work in these kind of happenings? )

[judgementor]

I didn't realise I had a deadline to meet. [Red Wine replies airily, almost dismissive in his tone. It's entirely meant to rile Steak up, of course. He's always the most fun to mess around with when he's flustered.

He lets his coat slide from his shoulders and down his arms, catching it deftly with one hand and hanging it over the back of the nearest chair.]

Have you been waiting for me all this time?

i'm sorry about him

[battlebound]

Of course!

( that's a lie and Steak has never been a good liar. Red Wine would be able to pick it out from a mile away, but nevertheless... well. no one ever accused Steak of being intelligent when Red Wine gets in the picture. pride, such a foolish thing. )

Come here. ( but he can salvage this through seeming like he's in charge and commanding, right? he gestures for Red Wine to step closer, curling his fingers and squaring his shoulders out in a way that is supposed to look like he knows what he's doing here. )