judgementor | [Jikan IC Inbox][un: redwine]

I know. And I appreciate it.

I'm not sure what to say, really. It's the nature of this place, so I can't fault it, but the feeling of bonds breaking hurts, all the same. Not to mention my usual anxieties.

[He's been lucky not to lose many. He doesn't say it.]

It's not your fault, Do.

I have been trying to convince myself of that. And yet, here we are.

Forgive me. I always seem to forget how hard it hits whenever I lose a close companion. I suppose I should be used to it, by now.

I'm over two centuries old. Believe me when I tell you that you should not look to become used to loss. You should feel it every time it happens, because that's how you know that you haven't stopped caring.

Perhaps you're right. However, I would prefer it didn't happen so often. It's rather unpleasant when it does.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to seem to be making light of it.

Are you going to be all right?

No offence taken.

As for my wellbeing, that, I'm still trying to figure out. This is nearly as bad as when Kisara left.

[that one was a rough one to go through]

Again, I shouldn't fault the nature of this place. But I am getting rather exhausted from it happening.

Understandable. It does make a person wary of what the next day could bring.

It's nerve wracking, to say the least. And the stronger the bond, the more it hurts.

[which only terrifies Dohalim more, the idea that Red Wine could leave, as well. the thought only serves to exacerbate that feeling of loneliness and anxiety]

Perhaps I do need the company, now that I think about it. Would you be able to come over? Or is it too late to take you up on the offer?

No, it isn't too late. I'll be over soon.

Thank you. You have a key; just let yourself in.

[and once Red Wine does show up, he'll see Dohalim in the kitchen, at the table, with a pot of tea by his arm. elbows are propped up on the hard wood surface as his hands are clasped together, and his forehead rested against them. at least it isn't a bottle of wine, or sliced wine fruit, this time]

[He enters with the key and without knocking, taking his shoes off at the door and padding into the house. Red Wine is a little ruffled in appearance, looking like he wasn't preparing to go out in any respect and had rushed over without even considering how he looked.

When he walks in he pauses in the doorway for a moment, then breathes out a sigh and walks over. He places his hand against the back of Dohalim's head and ruffles his fingers gently into the soft curls.]

Enough tea in that pot for two?

[Dohalim doesn't move when he hears the door, only shifting slightly into Red Wine's touch when the other man threads his fingers through his hair. it's simple, but the touch and presence of the Food Soul does so much to placate the anxiety within him. he lets out a sigh of his own before turning his attention to Red Wine, nodding at the question]

Yes... I was just waiting for it to steep.

[he slowly comes to a stand, wrapping his arms around Red Wine's shoulders, pulling him into an almost desperate embrace. he practically clings to him, as if worried that he'd suddenly slip away and that he'd be alone again. Dohalim breathes him in, reminding himself that Red Wine is here]

Thank you for coming.

Ah.

[The sound, a reaction to both the comment about the tea and the sudden way the other man stands and embraces him so tightly, leaves him on a quietly exhaled breath. His long ears dip back, a small frown on his face as he brings his arms up immediately to hold on to him in return.]

I'll always come, if I'm able... [He replies softly, and he inches one hand up to Dohalim's hair to run it into the soft curls and stroke his fingers through it.]

And I know you never ask me like that if you don't need me.

I always need you. There are times that need is exacerbated than others, like now, but I always need you.

[most times he can ignore it, as to not seem so clingy and desperate for even a warm embrace from the Food Soul. just knowing how much Red Wine loves him is usually enough to drive out intrusive thoughts. but right now, as slender fingers cling onto Red Wine's shirt, he wants nothing more than to wrap himself in that warmth.

it's times like this that remind him just how lonely he has been, and how much it's affected him if someone he cares for deeply leaves. as Dohalim considers the words he'd just said, he huffs out a soft sigh as he buries his face in Red Wine's neck. sometimes, he does wonder how Red Wine puts up with all of his emotion baggage, and if it'll ever be so much that it pushes him away. the thought alone only gets Dohalim to hold on just a little tighter, for a brief moment, before he lets his arms relax slightly again. he really is in some type of way right now, isn't he...]

[He's touched, really. Concerned for the mental health of the man, but touched that he would express something like that to him so readily.

Red Wine doesn't mind the clinginess. He cups the back of the man's head as he holds on to him, scratching his fingernails gently against his scalp, and he closes his eyes as he lets himself sink into the warmth of the embrace. The emotional baggage can be a lot, sometimes, but... Red Wine is not without his own, and he knew the kind of man that Dohalim was long before he found himself falling in love with him.]

It's all right. [He murmurs.] I'm here.

[Dohalim really is in some type of way, but... it's all right. It isn't as if Red Wine hasn't seen him in worse states before.]

I know... I know.

[he just... needs help ignoring the more intrusive thoughts trying to convince him that Red Wine will leave him as well. he presses his face against Red Wine's neck, breathing in deeply, as if to try to fill his senses with the man. the hand in his hair and the strength of his arms gently holding onto him are almost enough to calm him down-- enough that Dohalim eventually does pull himself away. he presses a thankful kiss to Red Wine's lips before offering a seat at the small table]

The tea should be about done steeping... Did you want a small snack with it?

[He lets Dohalim hold on to him as long as he needs to, drawing his own comfort from the contact though he does not think to pull the conversation in the way of his own concerns about the fragility of their positions in Nippon.

Red Wine shakes his head with a faint smile at the question and sits down, leaning his weight on one elbow planted on top of the table.]

Just the tea, but don't let me stop you if you want to eat something.

[in all honesty, Dohalim isn't sure he can stomach anything right now, especially with his anxiety flip flopping his stomach about. he shakes his head gently, before taking his own seat. he busies himself for a moment as he checks the pot to see if the tea has indeed finished steeping, before pulling out the mesh with the tea leaves and setting them aside. as he serves the tea, his leg brushes up against Red Wine's, not in a teasing manner, but just so he has even just a little bit of that contact that he so desperately needs, right now]

Here you go.

[Dohalim's voice is soft as he slides the teacup over, porcelain gently scraping along the grain of the wood cutting through the silence of the kitchen. picking up his own cup, he takes a small sip, his other hand outstretched slightly in the Food Soul's direction in case he wants to take his hand. in all honesty, Dohalim hopes that Red Wine does]

[Dohalim would be able to easily recognise the careful way in which Red Wine is studying him. Like he's trying to figure something out. It's a look he often gives the man when he's in emotional slumps like this one.

Red Wine, while far more emotionally aware than Steak, doesn't always know the right thing to say. However, he does more often know the right thing to do and when Dohalim reaches his hand out, though only slightly, he will find it immediately taken up and gently squeezed.]

I'll stay here as long as you need, all right?

Mm... And if I ask you to stay the night? I feel like that would be a little too much to ask for.

[especially when it's so impromptu. if it were a planned night, Dohalim wouldn't feel so bad, but he would hate to keep Red Wine here overnight when he should be at his own home to begin with. not that he isn't grateful for the company.

Dohalim sighs softly at the warmth around his hand, ignoring the gaze the man is giving him]

However, I would like it. I would like it if you stayed.

[Jikan IC Inbox][un: redwine]

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