judgementor | [Aefenglom IC Inbox]

I'll be crossing my fingers for you.

[They mean that sincerely... They want the best for Red Wine, even if they don't know him that well.]

That's still something worth doing, I think... Very noble. [They hum softly.] Cloudy days are nice... They kind of remind me of home.

[He chuckles softly.] Thank you. This way.

[And he turns on a few lights as they walk through the house, just enough that neither of them will hip-check a table or trip.]

Mm... me too. A little. The place I was first summoned to was a desert, but I haven't been back there for a while.

Did you travel a lot?

[They cock their head curiously, making a not of the use of the word “summoning”. They’ll... Ask about that later.]

Before coming here, that is.

You could say that.

[He takes them to the kitchen and indicates the table there - Bailey can sit down if they like.]

I'm a mercenary. Part of a small group. We travel to where we're most needed, and sometimes to places where people have asked for our presence. [Red Wine pulls down two cups from a cupboard.] Do you? Travel, that is.

[Bailey takes a seat, crossing their legs at the ankle.]

Was it... Dangerous?

[The concern is obvious in their voice, but they try to push it aside. At the mention of travel, their lips quirk a little sadly.]

Ah, no. Wasn't really allowed to go anywhere besides the city I grew up in.

Being a mercenary? Yes, it could be. But it's what I'm made for.

[Red Wine hums softly as he sets the water to boil, joining Bailey while it heats. He gives them a curious tilt of his head.]

You weren't allowed, hm? Noble family?

You've never wanted to do anything else?

[They... Might not be realizing just how literal he's being.

They blink a bit, pausing thoughtfully.]

I... Sort of, but not really? Like, I don't know that I'd say my family is incredibly influential in the present day, but they're still... Very traditional.

Ah... traditional.

[He says the word like he understands the kind of pressure a family like that can put on a person. A small smile twitches at his lips for a moment.]

And... no. No, I never wanted to do anything else. Helping and defending people is good work.

Yeah... Yeah. That’s the best word to describe them.

[They find theirself incredibly curious about Red Wine, which isn’t helped by the small smile they see cross his face.

They look down at the surface of the table, feeling shy.]

Well, I can’t argue that those aren’t good things to do... As long as you’re taking care of yourself, too.

Mm, that's easy enough. I'm not easy to kill.

[The kettle on the stove begins to hiss softly, and he glances over at it. Briefly, he pulls in his lower lip between his teeth, then sighs and sinks down in his chair just a little.]

I wasn't. I suppose being here changes a lot of things.

[Their nose wrinkles for a moment, and they shake their head.]

Taking care of yourself is more than just... Survival. You need to be happy, too.

[A pause.]

Not to say you weren't, but...

I was.

[And he smiles faintly again, straightening his posture.] Not all the time, but overall, I would say I was happy.

[The kettle begins to whistle loudly and it appears to suddenly occur to Red Wine that it's the middle of the night. He kisses a curse under his breath and darts across the kitchen, pulling the kettle from the hob.

Then, he chuckles to himself.]

... I'm sure it's fine. [Ehem.] I don't think 'mostly happy' for over two hundred years is a poor average.

[They both made a calculated choice and maybe it wasn't the best choice.]

...Should get a silencing spell for the kettle.

[They huff out a laugh.]

...And... I'd say that's a good average, yeah. Mostly happy is anyone can hope for, especially for so long...

[Definitely wasn't a human before coming here, that's for sure.]

I don't want to pry, but... Would you say you're happy, now?

[His movement stills at that question. Fingers resting on the tea box, eyes half downcast, no readable expression on his face. One corner of his mouth twitches up, but there's no lightness to it.

When he starts moving again it's as if every desire is punctuated with a what full stop.]

No.

[People have asked him if he's alright. That has felt like an invitation, and one he has only half answered despite the sincerity behind the question. But no one has asked him if he's happy.

He pours hot water into the teapot.]

No, Bailey. I'm not happy right now.

[They weren't expecting an honest answer - they feel like a lot of people, when asked a question like that, would lie. It's instinct, they think, a defense mechanism to keep people from getting too close to the heart of things.

They look down at their hands, curled in their lap, and think about what to say.]

I... Know I can't fix things, but... Is there anything I can do to at least make you happier?

[Gods, he's lied so much today. He's lied a lot. Red Wine prefers to only lie to protect others, not himself, and doing both has been an exhausting process.

As he brings the cups and teapot back to the table he finds he's surprised by the follow up question. Kind, considering they don't know one another too well.]

I would say that you're doing it.

[His smile has a faint warmth to it.]

The person I've lost-- we've been standing together for my entire existence. It's going to be a strange adjustment.

[They keep being surprised by Red Wine, so maybe they should just stop trying to predict what he's going to say. Their cheeks go a little rosy, and they nod.]

I can't imagine losing someone you've had for that long...

[And they really can't - they can't even imagine living for as long as Red Wine has.]

But... I know we've just met, but... If you need help, or if you want company, or... Or anything else, just. I'm here? I can't replace him and I wouldn't want to, but. Y'know. The offer's there.

[He huffs out a little sigh and pours the tea, giving Bailey theirs first.]

Everyone has been quite careful about it. It's been interesting. [Red Wine is accustomed to loss. This one hits differently to the others but at least... Steak's not dead. He's not dead, he just isn't here. Red Wine is not incapable of functioning alone.

It's just... strange to know he can't find him whenever he wishes to.

He looks over to the faun, faintly curious.]

I don't think you'd want to replace him. I spend most of my time insulting him.

Probably because nobody wants to upset you, even though it's like... You know he's not here, and it's not like you can deny the truth of the situation.

[They curl their hands around their teacup, feeling the warmth for a moment. They go to take a sip, before pausing and blinking at Red Wine.]

...I thought you were lovers.

[A beat. Their cheeks going rosier.]

W-Which! I mean. You're very handsome, so it's not like I'd say no to that, but you know, obviously you wouldn't be interested, because, well, haaaa.

[aaaaa]

...I'm going to shut up now.

[They take a sip of their tea, mortification settling in.]

[Oh.

Well.

Red Wine at least does Bailey the courtesy of turning slightly pink.]

That-- [Hm.] We were--... complicated.

[Are complicated. It had always been like that between them. He had never considered that kind of relationship with Steak on Tierra, but here... maybe it had been the bond, and the stress of being here, the constant fear and being the only truly familiar thing to one another. Red Wine never really got the chance to work out if the things he was feeling were real.

He clears his throat and sips his tea.]

Though I don't see what's obvious about it. You don't need to be embarrassed.

Complicated.

[Just. Gonna take another sip of tea. It's a bit too hot, but Bailey is ignoring that.]

I- Yeah. I can see that.

[They say, like they know either of them that well.]

I- Well! I mean. I'm not really like him, you know? I'm not... Strong. Or anything. So you wouldn't be interested in me the way I'm interested in you so, you know. I'm not embarrassed.

[Which... Is probably not all that convincing, and they're freshly mortified at admitting something so bold. It's something about being a faun, they think, because they never used to... Think of people like that, much.]

[His expression flickers.]

Bold.

[He murmurs against the edge of his cup.

And oh, he's fielded these kinds of declarations before. Usually from blushing young maids he had to gently let down, because a relationship with a Food Soul wasn't something a human should get into out of something so simple as infatuation.

He never let it get anywhere.]

Strength is not something I deem as worthy of being attracted to. Anyone can be strong. It says nothing about them as a person.

[They wish something would strike them down, stop their mouth from saying everything they're thinking.]

Well, you're very handsome, so can you blame me?

[Please... Have mercy...]

Well... That's... Fair, I suppose.

[Their tail thumps nervously against the back of their chair, as they stare very intently at their teacup.]

...I'm still not going to assume you definitely wanted to, but if you did want to, we could... Do that.

[The vampire rests his chin on the heel of his hand, the other hand curled loosely around the cup. He appraised Bailey quietly, and he--

He doesn't say 'no'.]

We shouldn't waste the tea. [He says softly, but there's still that faint smile. It still isn't 'no'.]

You should tell me a little more about yourself.

[Their tail stills, as it sinks in that... That wasn't a 'no'.

It wasn't a 'no', and they have no idea what to do with that.]

...Yeah. It's good tea.

[Not that they've really been able to taste it much.

They cock their head, finally looking up at Red Wine again. There's still a heavy blush on their face, but they manage to push down their embarrassment.]

...Well, you already know my name is Bailey. [A quirk of their lips.] I'm twenty-three, have a degree in psychology, and back home I could talk to ghosts. Can't do that here, though.

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