[Jikan IC Inbox][un: redwine]

[judgementor]

"Leave a message. If it's important, I'll get back to you."

*beep*

Comments

[judgementor]

I don't mind your self-deprecation. I know why you do it.

What I mind is the assumption that I'm going to suddenly realise the time I've spent on you, and how I feel for you, are of no value.

I'm not certain if you believe there's no value in those things, or are just waiting for me to reach that conclusion because you think you're a terrible person who doesn't deserve positive attention.

Which isn't true, by the way.

[ilqaras]

[well, this definitely wasn't a conversation he wanted to have when he's already sleep deprived but here they are]

Again, forgive me. It was a thought I should not have voiced out into the open. Or at all.

[judgementor]

But you did, sweetheart.

And so, as you say, here we are.

[ilqaras]

Yes, unfortunately. This was not how I wanted this conversation to be navigated to.

[judgementor]

How would you have preferred to navigate to 'I'm just waiting for you to realise I'm a waste of your time'?

[ilqaras]

Well, the easiest way would be to accept it and move on.

[judgementor]

I find the idea you even consider I might have done that to be insulting.

Let me ask you this.

If I were to tell you I don't believe myself worth knowing and I'm waiting for your inevitable disappointment when you realise it, what would you think?

[ilqaras]

I would think you're being ridiculous.

And, while seeing your point, is a lot different than convincing myself that what you're saying is the truth.

[judgementor]

Naturally you would, which is why I won't say it.

And I'll repeat this as many times as necessary - I don't spend time on people I don't think are worth it.

[ilqaras]

Infallible logic. I only wish I could believe it for myself.

And there I go again. Perhaps the lack of sleep really is affecting me more than I'd originally let on.

[judgementor]

Do you need company?

[ilqaras]

I wouldn't mind it, but it's also very late at night. I couldn't possibly ask you to indulge me.

[judgementor]

Yes, you could.

[ilqaras]

You're right. Let me amend that, then. I couldn't possibly be selfish enough to ask you to come so late at night.

[judgementor]

You could do that too.

[ilqaras]

I couldn't allow myself it. I've already rudely woken you up. To ask for you to come over is a bit too much, is it not?

[judgementor]

I suppose that's a matter of opinion.

If you don't want my company I won't force the suggestion.

[ilqaras]

It's not that I don't want it, I just don't want it to make it seem like an obligation.

[judgementor]

I'm sure you noticed that I offered, and you didn't ask.

[ilqaras]

I feel like this is coercion.

However, if you would like to come over, I won't be opposed.

[judgementor]

It certainly is and I fully commend you for noticing.

But I would, so I'll be there shortly if you would be so kind as to give me your new address.

[And he will be tapping on Dohalim's door in relatively short order once he knows where he is. When it's answered, the man would find him in a state of mild disarray, with his hair only loosely tied back and his usual finery replaced with little more than a pair of smart trousers and a white shirt.

The chilly night are doesn't seem to be bothering him.]

[ilqaras]

[which is perfect timing as, in a bid to stop himself from lamenting the fact that he's just basically inconvenienced Red Wine, Dohalim is up and about brewing tea. he'd hoped that tea at his house would have been at a better time, but... ah well, it is what it is.

so when he hears the soft tapping, he quietly answers it, as to not disturb the other inhabitants. the fact that Red Wine is outside in nothing but a shirt and pants is shocking, considering just how nippy the evening air is. then again, Elde Menancia had always been more temperate, despite being so close to Cyslodia. perhaps it was the mountain range stopping the cold air from reaching the realm proper.

digression aside, as he mentally gives himself a shake, Dohalim steps aside to let the man in]

You must be freezing. I have a pot of tea brewed if you would like to join me.

[judgementor]

Hm? No, not really.

[That is, he's cold but it doesn't really seem to be bothering him. Still, he steps inside and idly rubs his hands up his arms for a moment to shake off the chill before he casts a curious look around.]

You were trying to sleep, Do. Tea might not be the best option for you.

[ilqaras]

I'd found several blends of herbal and floral teas that don't contain any caffeine.

[Dohalim leads Red Wine to the kitchen as he talks; while the light is dim, if not off completely, it's not hard to see the plants lined up against the walls and tucked away in corners. he just... really likes flora]

And I think I've given up on sleep for the time being. I was growing more and more restless the longer I was in bed.

[judgementor]

Hmm.

[Hard to tell exactly what that thoughtful sound was directed at, but he follows along with Dohalim and appears to have no trouble at all with the low light.

And he does spot the plants.]

In that case, I'll join you for the tea.