[Jikan IC Inbox][un: redwine]

[judgementor]

"Leave a message. If it's important, I'll get back to you."

*beep*

Comments

[ilqaras]

It's as I said. Unfortunately, Lady Luck is usually not on my side when it comes to slumber.

Another sleepless night. One of many, I'm afraid. I've just been thinking about the past.

[judgementor]

Tarnigen?

[He remembers the name.]

[ilqaras]

Among other things. Even over seven years later, it seems I cannot go without thinking about him every so often. Perhaps recent events have exacerbated the nightmares.

[judgementor]

Seven years isn't such a long time. Not to stop thinking about someone you lost.

[ilqaras]

Maybe I just have high expectations of myself, but I feel it should be a sufficient amount of time to, at least, not be kept awake in fear of what my mind could twist and concoct.

[judgementor]

Trust me, you're being far too hard on yourself. The mind can be a treacherous thing even at its best.

[ilqaras]

Perhaps you're right.

However, I would like just one night of dreamless sleep. Not even anything pleasant. Just nothing, long enough that I could be out for long enough without interruption.

I suppose, though, that this is my frustration talking.

[judgementor]

I don't mean to downplay your experience.

I do understand.

[ilqaras]

Ah, that was never my assumption. Forgive me, sometimes my words get away from me.

I suppose for someone who has been alive for almost three centuries, you would have your fair share of nightmares. This conversation has been one sided on my part. If you have anything you'd like to talk about, please, feel free to.

[judgementor]

I do, but it's of no consequence.

I'd prefer to listen to you. I dare say you need the restful sleep far more than I do.

[ilqaras]

Oh, go on. I feel like you know entirely too much about me that I may have to kill you, lest others find out about my secrets.

I jest, of course. Maybe.

[judgementor]

It wouldn't be a new experience for me if you did.

[Whoops.

Ah well... sent it now.]

[ilqaras]

I beg your pardon?

[the response is almost instant because he's not letting that go]

[judgementor]

[s i g h .]

I'm dead. On Tierra. At least I will be within a few moments, I expect.

[ilqaras]

[there's a long pause before Dohalim's next message; he's just... processing the entire thing, please stand by]

Tell me about it. Please.

[because he can't imagine someone witnessing their death being okay with it]

[judgementor]

There's little to tell.

I was protecting an Attendant. One that myself and my two comrades had chosen. They had fallen already, and then so did I. Our Attendant got away, I think. I told them to run.

[And he's... strangely fine with it.]

[ilqaras]

And you are alright with this? With your death?

[he so badly wants to call Red Wine right now, but considering how late it is in the night, he'd rather not wake any other poor soul in the house]

[judgementor]

What would being angry about it achieve?

If I died, then I died doing what I was made to do. I'm content with that. I only wish I could have gone further.

[ilqaras]

And you have no other lamentations?

[judgementor]

None that would matter.

Don't feel sorry for me.

[ilqaras]

Forgive me. I didn't mean to come off as sounding like I am.

Are you sure you're alright?

[judgementor]

Yes, I'm fine. I've had a little while now to come to terms with it.

What time I have here now is a gift.

[ilqaras]

That's one way of looking at it.

But I do thank you for telling me, all the same. Perhaps I can help contribute to this gift of life.

[shhh don't say anything Red Wine he's sleep deprived]

[judgementor]

I'm sure you're only thinking of spending more time in my delightful company, and not of what I can do to you in the bedroom.

[ilqaras]

A bit of column A, a bit of column B.

If you want be to be completely honest, I do enjoy your company.